When I looked down, I grabbed the panic. No, it could not be! No, that was not to be! But I saw it with my own eyes yet: Those were not only eight, nine or ten. No, those were more. These were much more. Those were ... nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four. Yes, twenty-four. Twenty-four pieces. No, that could not be.
I counted again after ... twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four. Again twenty-four. Once again ... twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four. No, there was no doubt about it. There were twenty-four. And there were twenty-four. Point. Out. Twenty-four piece!
I could not believe it. Twenty four! Yes, twenty-four! In washbasins were twenty-four hairs. Twenty-four hairs from me. Unmistakable. Exactly my length. Exactly my color. Who else? Here was no one but me.
Twenty four. No doubt was possible. So I counted again. Again twenty-four. I could count so many times I wanted to; every time the same devastating results: Twenty-four! Only once combing hair and twenty-four irretrievably lost.
I was destroyed. I was at the end. I was done.
Only the look in the mirror gave me back my courage. No, there was nothing to see. Nothing. Nothing at all. Not a trace. Since not a single hair was missing. Still the same density of hair as before combing. My hair, my pride and joy - it was thick and full as ever. Since nothing was missing. Absolutely nothing.
And if. What are already twenty-four hairs? The average person has more than one hundred thousand hairs on his head. - If! Yes, if he is not among the bald heads. These unfortunate creatures, whom fate has imposed the worst punishment that can be given to a human.
But it I was thankfully spared. I could get no bald. Baldness are hereditary - which has been scientifically proven. And in our family there has never been a Baldy. Not one. I could so happen nothing. I was genetically immune.
Now it paid off, that in our family for generations manages the strict sense. In our widely branched clan is not married just out of pure exuberance and blind infatuation out. No, in our family is strictly ensured for generations that a marriage must endure, that it has a solid foundation.
It is one of the incontrovertible principles that a person who has a bald man in their family environment, as a partner is not an option. That was and is unthinkable. And that's good. Only in this way it could be ensured for generations that our family was spared from this scourge of humanity.
In our family has always had all dense thick hair. The women and the men. Until well into old age. Because there is no exception to this day. Not a single. And everyone in our family is marked with this seal of approval of the genetic purity proudly.
So I was immune. Because there was no doubt. I could pass anything. But already ensured the genes. Oh Mama, Oh Papa, I thank you for my good genes.
I regained. Twenty-four hairs. My God, what that was. Everyone has a bad day. But he was so bad, that had never happened before. I forced myself to think only of one thing: my good genes. Only the firm certainty that gave me my good genes gave me the strength to scrape together the hairs in the sink and throw in the trash.
The terrible nightmare was finished. I looked in the mirror, admiring my full head of hair and thanked my genes.
The following day I avoided it, to keep your head when combing over the sink. What also. It could even turn out so and so no hair. And if, then a maximum of seven or eight times. And which were eventually replaced immediately by others. The sat but formally in the starting blocks, and just waiting for that she finally got the chance to stand side by side in my full head of hair.
A long time I did not think that through. It made no sense but to bury our heads in the sand. I went on the offensive. The matter had to be investigated thoroughly. With scientific methods. Using the statistics. What you have studied so long? Since I had now finally a case where statistics to what is good. The fools at the university have always plagued us with first abstract tasks. Here I had a case from practice. In the middle of the life. Meticulously I collected every hair, which had left the community of hundreds of thousands of forever. Conscientiously, I kept a list of the daily losses. For graphical illustration I made neatly a scatter plot on. On the X-axis represents the time, the day next to the other; left to right. On the Y axis the number of lost hair. The greater the loss, the higher up the data point. I told myself "Bodo, because you have to watch It's like the unemployment statistics:.. If the curve rises, then that's bad" The graph confirmed my worst fears. Yes, there were quite some fluctuations, but all in all not to deny a trend. He showed from bottom left to top right. To compensate for the daily fluctuations, I calculated the weekly averages. The statistical smoothing made the picture even more depressing. The trend was clearly upwards. To calculate the regression equation, the data base was still too thin. But that was only a matter of time.
I did not want to wait. I could not wait. Because finally what had happened.
The solution was obvious. The genes were not. Since I could not be sure. Consequently, it could only be on the diet. Without hesitation, I rolled up my eating plan to complete. Vitamins, minerals, additives, supplements and otherwise only eco. In short, everything you need for a healthy diet. Food I got only the organic farmers. The 35 km ride out into the countryside, I gladly accepted in purchasing. And my glorious hair was me the extortionate prices all value. There were the healthy country air completely free.
But soon disillusionment was spreading. Eco towards eco ago. The conscientiously continuing Statistics retained the chosen trend undeterred. In addition, very first signs of a receding hairline were now recognizable in the mirror. My life has been destroyed. I desperately needed help.
Without telling my family, I went secretly to my hometown. There I turned to our old family doctor. Who else? Finally, he knew our family as good as any other. The knew. The did not even have to carry out a detailed investigation. "Do not worry, Bodo. Because although missing a few hairs. But you know, I know your family for decades. In your exemplary family there has never been a case of alopecia. You know yourself, Bodo how vigilant your family is in this matter. Exemplary like no other. Since you need do not be afraid. This is not organic. That has certainly psychological causes. Did you in the last time a lot of stress? "
Yeah, that's it! Too bad that I had not come even on it. Of course, I had a lot of stress lately. Much more than ever before. Reassured, I left the posh private practice and decided to immediately go on vacation.
I dropped everything and are, gathered up the bare, and the next day I was on the Baltic Sea. This time of year everything was deserted here. Because you could not do anything else but relax. Before the start of the hour-long walks on the beach I met every time conscientiously all necessary measures for the protection of my most precious good. First, a thin cloth made from the finest silk was wrapped tightly around her head. In a cap. No wool - for God's sake. Finest smooth cloth, in which no hairs could snag. Furthermore then the weatherproof hood. Everything lashed. The storm should not get a chance to also sweep away a single hair.
But in my solitary walks on the beach, I had only one thing in mind: The monotonically increasing curve in the scatter plot. Making matters worse, clear signs of withdrawal were no longer be denied in the mirror. My depression grew immeasurably. Oh, I would have gone to the North Sea. There I could grab the tide and tear out into the open sea. I grabbed the suitcase.
Immediately after my return, I went to see a doctor. Here, in this city, far away from the family. This time I made brass tacks and went to a specialist, a dermatologist. After a thorough investigation with trichogram and gimmicks, he asked me to sit down for briefing on the rather uncomfortable chair. "Young man, you can rest assured. You are not sick." That was balm to my oppressed soul. When he went hit me tremendous. "They suffer from androgenetic alopecia, which is the scientific term for a hereditary hair loss ... blablabla ..." I was devastated. But it was not long before I had caught me again. That idiot but had no idea! So an empty talk. As if I do not exactly know what androgenetic alopecia means. Well, at one point he was right. A balding is hereditary. But precisely because it was impossible that I get a. The only excuse I could give him credit that he did not know our family.
Anyway, I had sick and tired of these doctors. Inflated people. Morons. From tooting and blowing no idea, but rumlabern taught. Furious, I went home.
There I encapsulated me completely and searched through the entire scientific literature to alopecia. To my great joy I found just what I already knew: baldness are hereditary. At least since the research of Hamilton which is clearly demonstrated. Since science does not allow the slightest doubt. Because there are not one whit to shake. This is part of today but to general education. Since you have not necessarily know what that means dihydrotestosterone and 5-alpha reductase type II.
I thanked God and the relentless regime of my family clans for my good genes.
Encouraged by the incontestable scientific findings I conducted my statistical studies continued even conscientious.
As the trend then also accelerated, I was close to suicide. An old friend advised me to go to a naturopath. "The understood what of their subject. And besides, it is a world recognized authority in matters of astrology." Yes, this combination was just right. Only through the mediation of my friends were able to get an early appointment with this much sought luminary. Well, six weeks I had to still be patient. As the deadline approached, I was nervous at the end.
Her appearance and ambience were a bit strange, and I felt a great desire on his heel to reverse. But then I realized right away that I could trust this woman. "You need as to have no fear, Mr. Wohlstetter. That's certainly no alopecia. This is an increased sensitivity to the phasic displacement of the declination of the ascendant." I was deeply impressed by their expertise. Finally, she was just a woman. "Luckily, there are as simple antidote." They gave me a small little bottle to his eyes. "Take from this tincture 7 drops, rub the between your hands and distribute the solution to the whole head. It is very important that you in the evening to begin before the full moon, and that you do this exactly 7 days. Always exactly one hour after moonrise. " Then she fished an even smaller Flasket from the overloaded shelves. Apparently she was afraid I would not see. She held the tiny thing so close to her face that she almost pushed me on the nose. And that's where I'm slightly farsighted. "Then you take daily 3 drops from this bottle. The dilute in one-eighth liter of sesame oil. Warm the solution on an open flame on. In any case, on an electric or a gas stove. Make sure that there are exactly 37 degrees. Rub the whole thing exactly twenty-four minutes before bedtime in her hair. You will see, in three months, your problem is solved. "
Meticulous I followed their instructions. The first month went by. The second month went by. The outrageously expensive miniature Flasket went in a hurry to run out. But the trend continued relentlessly in the chosen direction. I dare not to confess that losses were for a week to mourn week. Ascending trend. Every look in the mirror made painfully clear that my hairline increasingly shifted backward. Merciless. Millimeter by millimeter.
I had holed up in my apartment. Hard sealed off from the family. Since I received the news that my brother Siegbert, almost four years older than me, finally marries. In three weeks. Thankfully, that was high time. Then the Brautschau for me would soon be launched. The joy was short-lived. Back on the ground of the facts, to me the hopelessness of my situation was fully aware. At the family reunion, I could not let me look. Absolutely no way. That just was not possible. That was impossible. But a family celebration was an inescapable necessity. Since there was no excuse. No ifs and no buts. Especially not when it comes to a wedding. And certainly not at my brother's wedding. An absence would have been possible only with written certification of the ICU. And even that only with notary certification.
The rescue came quite unexpectedly. As my fellow student Spinderella before the door was - as always unannounced - I wanted them first do not let. But a woman like Spinderella can not be shaken off. She held her thumb for so long on the doorbell until I surrendered completely unnerved. "My God, Bodo, as look at you? What happened to your hair?" The shock sat deep. But Spinderella is a robust nature. And it is also a practical bent, his nose always in the wind of the latest trends. When the first shock had subsided, she had, as always, immediately have a solution. The magic word was: Feng Shui. "It's as clear as daylight, Bodo that your hair must run away in this environment! Bring order to your environment, and you bring order to your head." Exactly that's it. I noticed a sigh of relief. Yes, with Feng Shui I would get all problems under control. Once and for all. So I could rest assured ride to the wedding. Immediately after the hard Feng Shui would bring the disordered structure of my world back into balance.
With this joyful certainty, the fear disappeared before the family reunion. But as you might expect, my vision for the parents was a terrible shock. Even from a distance I could see how my father froze and my mother went pale. She threatened to the point overturn. Hastily I called to meet them "Mom, Dad, do not worry! You can stay calm. Mom, Dad, you really need you to worry." The explanation that I had concocted me went afloat on the lips. "Unfortunately I had a viral disease. The doctor said, it's nothing bad, and now it is already fully recovered from. This damn virus acts much like chemotherapy. But thankfully does it quickly over. And now fits in, now comes the good news: After a few weeks the hair grow even closer than before Is not that great ".? Phew, that was just gone well again. Limb by limb movement came back in my father. Mother took a deep breath. The blood circulation took his on again and the spirits returned to them. "My God, you have been scared me! But if that is so, then you've got really lucky with the disease, my poor boy. Then you will outdo end up Siegbert yet." And father said: "Yes, our good Siegbert That's tomorrow under the hood and then it's your turn, since it is so, how called, if your head of hair even denser is as earlier then we can at the Brautschau even more in.... throw the scales. Congratulations, my son. "
Gradually, the whole relationship arrived. Of course, at first everyone was shocked. And it was very hard to tell everyone the story. But I was envious every time at the end. Intoxicated with so much attention and the continuous repetition, I completely forgot that I had invented this story only.
On the eve of the festivities then the usual Gaudi. At the start, as always, already heard a thousand anecdotes about the hunt for the genetic submarines. Yes, it was not uncommon happened that creatures wanted to smuggle in our exclusive family clan who had a bald man in their relationship. For each candidate and each candidate stated: clan be watchful! "Yes earlier that was still easy. Because you had to sift through just the family environment thoroughly. The primitive camouflage black sheep are blown away." - "Oh yes, this naive fools who comb their sparse hair strands from one side across the head so stupid you have to be for now.." - "Even more ridiculous is but the wretches that mesh is their only highlights from back to front." The backbiting was no end. The laughter grew louder. "Nowadays, everything is no longer so easy. This toupee specialists are becoming more sophisticated. And the damn surgeons always work perfectly." - "But anyway, Ernst-Heinrich, a trained eye recognizes immediately." ... - "Well, so simple it really is no longer a wedding today is a very expensive proposition, since devour alone the private detectives a small fortune you have it so all mitgekriegt: Britta, our revered by all bride, has a vast relationship ; and to make matters worse are scattered over the whole world alone, the travel expenses I can not even think about it ".!. - "Well, who has so much must we be already worth the genetic purity, Wolf Herrmann.." - "You're right Who else but the people we should protect them from the bald decadence.?"
Then the Gaudi was continued as usual with Dölle. "You still remember all the Dölle I wonder today, how this man took the courage to contact every day with Completely Bald front of the class Imagine the times before:.?! A teacher with a bald head A teacher is but an authority figure. How can a bald head have authority? " - "Yes, it is unconscionable that the school boards are not strictly intervene here." - "But it is not only the school, my dearest Edelgard Everywhere you see them on the street, in offices and authorities everywhere, wherever you look unabashedly run the rum....." The contributions went to great. Everyone wanted to have their say. "Today, these publicitygeilen film actor even voluntarily shave ne plate." - "Just like these empty-headed football players." - "Listen to me only on football players but the all have a head like a football not in form but in content..." - "Exactly where the head is as hollow as her work unit!". - "The worst thing I think it's so, though still present politicians her bald in public is no wonder that it comes with our state downhill.." - "Well, on TV at least eighth in the correspondents and newscasters on it a bit." - "The already, but then the toupee depends so wrong that you have to zap at once." And so it went on cheerfully.
The highlight was the ever-popular slide this time. Here we celebrated our family appropriate. Dense thick hair on everyone's mind. Dia to slide. Dense thick hair. The pride of our clan. It was bliss. Here everyone could join in the song of praise to our good genes. Finally, the moment I meet feverish always came ...
Hiç yorum yok:
Yorum Gönder